using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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