Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize