she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
