We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
