I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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