Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
