so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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