Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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