Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
