Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
