Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Do vagina's smell?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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