My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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