You really coming over, don't trick.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
