I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
