So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You ruined the universe
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
