I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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