Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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