He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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