He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
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