am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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