we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
