So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
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I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
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