Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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