hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
