Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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