Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You peed on a flamingo?!?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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