This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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