We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
