I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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