I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
