If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
