You made me cry and you don't even care
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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