just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
