Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
We smell like vodka and hangover
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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