Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize