i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
