The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
