We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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