i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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