If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize