that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
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How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
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dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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