I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
