I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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