weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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