Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
