Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
