Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
