we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
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do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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