Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
