Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
