It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
