Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
