Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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