My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i just google imaged poop.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Randomize
