So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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