dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Randomize
