glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
