how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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