I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
