I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
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I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
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GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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