It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize