I wanna bring you to show and tell
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
