Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
