There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
