get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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