those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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